Behind Bars

Harley-Davidson Polka

written by B.Soucy-sung by HORST

Da day dat I turned seventeen I heard my father say
"I bought a motorcycle for your seventeenth birthday"
"My friend he had an old bike but there's trouble wit da clutch"
I gave my dad a hug and I said "Tank you very much"

I took it on da highway but it never drove too good
I prayed dear God "Please send me a Harley if you could"
Den suddenly da bike I owned de engine went to hell
Was a piece-of-crap Suzuki so it's probably just as well

Now you can have your Yamahas and shove dem Hondas too...HEY !!
Dem bikes dey are for sissies not for guys like me and you...HEY !!
Riding down da highway wit some babe is really fun
Dere ain't nothin' like it, my Harley-Davidson

I saved up all my money for to have da best someday
You know one of dem bikes dat dey make in da USA
Now all da hottest babes you know dey love to come my way
And ride my Harley-Davidson on a Saturday

Now you can have your Yamahas and shove dem Hondas too...HEY !!
Dem bikes dey are for sissies not for guys like me and you...HEY !!
Riding down da highway wit some babe is really fun
Dere ain't nothin' like it, my Harley-Davidson

We like to go to pig roasts and we like to eat de corn
We ride on up to Sturgis for da rally way up north
ZZ Top was in Milwaukee, dat was really fun
At the 90th anniversary of da Harley-Davidson

Now you can have your Yamahas and shove dem Hondas too...HEY !!
Dem bikes dey are for sissies not for guys like me and you...HEY !!
Riding down da highway wit some babe is really fun
Dere ain't nothin' like it, my Harley-Davidson

HEY !!

PMS Polka

written by B.Soucy & D.Heise-sung by HORST

She used to play accordian in da polka band
She said dat da polkas were her life
She was oh-so-jolly when I went to see her play
So I went and made dat little girl my wife

But tings dey ain't da same no more, she don't play in da band
Dey replaced her wit a guy on clarinet
And I tink dat ever since dat day she's had da PMS
'Cause nagging is de only ting I get

We're doing da PMS Polka
Yah she's giving me a real bad time again
Yah we're doing da PMS Polka
And it seems like da bitching never ends

She makes me stay at home a lot and work around da house
And now I've got to help her wit da crafts
But I tink she's gone too far dis time, I really hate dat junk
So she can shove da whole ting up her...

We're doing da PMS Polka
Yah she's giving me a real bad time again
Yah we're doing da PMS Polka
And it seems like da bitching never ends

She don't let me in da bars...She's got da PMS !
She don't let me buy guitars...She's got da PMS !
She don't let me drive da car...She's got da PMS !
She don't let me smoke cigars...She's got da PMS !
She don't let me hunt da deer...She's got da PMS !
She don't let me drink da beer...She's got da PMS !
She don't let me watch TV...She's got da PMS !
She won't let me be me...She's got da PMS !

We're doing da PMS Polka
Yah she's giving me a real bad time again
Yah we're doing da PMS Polka
And it seems like da bitching never ends

HEY !!

Sandpiper Polka

written by J.Krueger-sung by WOLFGANG

Ist dieses nicht Lake Michigan?... Ja dieses ist Lake Michigan!
Ist dieses nicht der Lake Shore Drive?...Ja ist dieses der Lake Shore Drive!
Ist dieses nicht ein friendly bar?...Ja ist dieses ein friendly bar!
Ist dieses nicht ein frosted mug?... Ja ist dieses ein frosted mug!

Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
On da lake

Ist dieses nicht der Fran & Sue?...Ja dieses ein Fran & Sue!
Ist dieses nicht der Brian & Katie?...Ja dieses ein Brian & Katie!
Ist dieses nicht der Bob & Z?...Ja dieses ein Bob & Z!
Ist dieses nicht nice place to be?...Ja dieses ist nice place to be!

Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
On da lake

Ist dieses nicht delicious food?...Ja dieses eis delicious food!
Ist dieses nicht ein lovely view?...Ja dieses ein lovely view!
Ist dieses nicht cold can of hops?...Ja dieses cold can of hops!
Ist dieses nicht ein shot of schnapps?...Ja dieses ein shot of schnapps!

Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
On da lake

Ist dieses nicht ein dart league?...Ja dieses ein dart league!
Ist dieses nicht ein pool league?...Ja dieses ein pool league!
Ist dieses nicht ein Wisconsin State Women's Pool Championship Trophy
for two years in a row and goten himel she's a big one too hey?
Ja dieses ein Wisconsin State Women's Pool Championship Trophy
for two years in a row and goten himel she's a big one!

Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
On da lake

Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
Oh...Sandpiper
On...da...lake

HEY !!

Boys & Girls Polka

written by B.Soucy-sung by HORST

Ein...Zwei... Ein zwei drei...HEY !!

On Friday night I'll take my family dancing
Oh we'll go dancing...yah polka dancing
I'll take my lovely wife Hilda dancing
And we will have some fun on Friday night

Oh I'll take my little daughter Heidi dancing
Oh we'll go dancing...yah polka dancing
My son Herman too he will come dancing
And we will have some fun on Friday night

HEY ! HEY ! HEY !

Oh da boys and girls are dancing in da moonlight
Oh in da moonlight...Oh in da moonlight
Yeah da boys and girls are dancing in da moonlight
And you are still de apple of my eye

We'll send da kids to listen to Bob Keuther
And while we're dancing, we'll be romancing
We'll take a walk out back along da river
And we will stroll together hand in hand

HEY ! HEY ! HEY !

Oh da boys and girls are dancing in da moonlight
Oh in da moonlight...Oh in da moonlight
Yeah da boys and girls are dancing in da moonlight
And you are still de apple of my eye

Oh Hilda you know I have always loved you
You make me happy, you know I love you
Well even though you've gained a hundred pounds now
You're still da little dumpling of my heart

HEY ! HEY ! HEY !

Oh da boys and girls are dancing in da moonlight
Oh in da moonlight...Oh in da moonlight
Yeah da boys and girls are dancing in da moonlight
And you are still de apple of my eye

HEY ! HEY ! HEY !

Oh da boys and girls are dancing in da moonlight
Oh in da moonlight...Oh in da moonlight
Yeah da boys and girls are dancing in da moonlight
And you are still de apple of my eye

HEY !!

Corner Bar Swing

written by B.Soucy-sung by HORST

Swing...swing...swing along
Swing your mug wit da band
Zing...zing...zing along
Give us a helping hand

It's a beautiful day and we're here to play
Everyone's starting to cheer
White or black, skinny or fat
We are all brudders in beer

Oh we're doin' da corner bar swing
We're doin' da corner bar swing
I like to eat burgers and drink beer too
Tink about all da fun tings to do

Now dat our friends are all here
Give everybody a beer
Hey it's Saturday night and we're feeling alright
Doin' da corner bar swing

Now Bob and Jim and all da rest
Dey bring us shots from da bar
But don't let us get too messed up
We still got to drive da car

And when you want da band to play
Just give Wenzel a ring
Hey we'll all come back and drink some more
And do da corner bar swing

Oh we're doin' da corner bar swing
We're doin' da corner bar swing
I like to eat cheese curds and shoot darts too
Tink about all da fun tings to do

Now dat our friends are all here
Give everybody a beer
Hey it's Saturday night and we're feeling alright
Doin' da corner bar swing

Oh we're doin' da corner bar swing
We're doin' da corner bar swing
I like to eat peanuts and shoot pool too
Tink about all da fun tings to do

Now dat our friends are all here
Give everybody a beer
Hey it's Saturday night and we're feeling alright
Doin' da corner bar swing
Oh it's Saturday night and we're feeling alright
Doin' da corner bar swing

HEY !!

So? I Knew That!

written by R.Krueger & D.Heise-sung by WENZEL

Yodel For A Beer

written by B.Soucy-sung by HORST

Da wife she was a-naggin', she's got me in a rut
I'd like to go out drinkin' but I've only got a buck
Now dat will buy my first two beers but after dat I'm screwed
I'd like to run a good one but I don't know what to do

My friends dey all are drinkin', dere drinkin' shots and beers
My money's all run out, and I'm just about in tears
Den suddenly I got a thought, all you listen here
I will yodel for youse now, if you'll all buy me a beer
He will yodel for you now, if you'll all buy him a beer

Yodelin'

Now I'm gettin' really messed up, from drinkin' shots all day
Da wife expects me home, but it's here I'm gonna stay
Da boys said dey'll buy one more round, if I got da time
All I got to do is stick around and sing a few more lines
All he's got to do is stick around and sing a few more lines

More Yodelin'

I Saw Elvis

written by S.Heise-sung by WOLFGANG

Oktoberfest Rap

written by B.Soucy-rapped by ALL

Now come on everybody, won't you come wit me
And da Happy Schnapps Combo o'er to Germany
Now Wolfgang and Helmut and all da rest
We got to play da polkas at Oktoberfest

Oh we fly into Stutgart on a Friday afternoon
Get a Volkswagon Jetta, we gonna start to cruise
Now dat we're here we want to have a good time
Buy some mai bock beer and some Black Forest wine

Now we're rockin' to da polkas, ya da radio is on
And we're cruisin' 'bout 140 down de Autobahn
Wenzel yells "Raise It!", de heavy drinkin' started
I had to roll da window down 'cause somebody...

Now Klaus he's hungry, he wants to get some food
And after all de drinkin', de others want some too
Den we pull over to da nearest bratwurst stand
We trow a couple down den we're headed to de can

Well we pull into Munich at da hotel Check Inn
Take a quick shower den it's time to go again
I get dressed up nice in my new Levi's Dockers
And dat-a little freuilin gotta great big knockers

Oh her name was-a Gretta, got da big tail-braids
I take her to Oktoberfest hopin' to get laid
Buy sourbratten struedel and a big piece of schnitzel
And Gretta, she gotta big sour dough pretzel

Laid back
See what I'm sayin'...hell ya!
What up Horst...yo!
Laid back

Now we finally take da stage and da crowd thinks we're hot
We're playin' and a-yodelin' with everything we got
Da boys pounded down about a five quarts of schnapps
We got a little rowdy and someone called da cops

So dey took us to de airport and dey put us on de plane
Dey said we'd go to jail if we come back here again
I tink I need a drink, my nerves are really shot
So give me dat 100 proof wintergreen schnapps

Now come on everybody let me hear you say
Dat da Happy Schnapps Combo is back to stay
Now we land in Milwaukee to a round of cheers
And we head back home to suck a few beers

Let da boys be boys
Like dis and like dat, like dis and like dat
Let da boys be boys

HEY !!

Who Stole The Keeshka

written by W.Solek & W.Dana-sung by HELMUT

You Can't Teach A Woman How To Drink

written by J.Krueger-sung by HORST

Well I took my gal out to dinner, it was such an enjoyable night
She said I was the best looking guy in the place and I said "Honey, you're right"
Pick up the check, said "What the heck, let's stop for a drink somewhere"
But when it comes to women and liquor, lord let the bar beware

She had a couple drinks, couple drinks and she started to cry
I came in da bar with Dr.Jekyll, now I'm sittin' here with Mrs.Hyde
Oh how can we come so far in this world, how can we come so far in this world
Put a man on the moon, make computers that think
But you can't teach a woman how to drink

Now there goes a shot of Tequila down, and I said "Honey, let's get outta this town"
She scowled at me and said "You ain't a man", I said "I love ya honey and I understand"
Took off with some stupid young hunk, now she's just probably down the line
Well at least us professional drinkers can't stand up when it's closing time

She had a couple drinks, couple drinks and she started to cry
I came in da bar with Dr.Jekyll, now I'm sittin' here with Mrs.Hyde
Oh how can we come so far in this world, how can we come so far in this world
Put a man on the moon, make computers that think
But you can't teach a woman how to drink

Well I saw her again in a couple a weeks, she was lookin' better'n ever
She sat at the bar like a movie star, flashin' lace and leather
I figured I'd make my move again, but she left such a deep impression
I turned on my heels, said "Hell with this deal", thank God I learned my lesson

She had a couple drinks, couple drinks and she started to cry
I came in da bar with Dr.Jekyll, now I'm sittin' here with Mrs.Hyde
Oh how can we come so far in this world, how can we come so far in this world
Put a man on the moon, make computers that think
But you can't teach a woman how to drink
No you can't teach a woman how to drink...Yeah!

Copyright 1994
Lyrics are property of The Happy Schnapps Combo
and are not to be used without permission

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